you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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