im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
