is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
