Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
