ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We need to get me chipped asap
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
