Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
