Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
