hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
