Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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