I love black thongs
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
