it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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