I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
