I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
