don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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