Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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