You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
