so explain again why im purple
no
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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