i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
