She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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