8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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