I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't put those talents on a resume
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
