in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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