last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
