I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
