Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
