and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
