I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
