Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
