What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
