I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I party with great urgency now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You don't make any sense
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