a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
