So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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