I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
