hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
