cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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