walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
