whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
