Swine flu. Run for my life!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
