you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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