Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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