Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
