She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
