We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
