In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
