it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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