i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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