i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
