just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
