We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
