Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
