Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
