Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
