We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
